She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
The Art of Being Present with Rachel Dellinger Stallings & Jennifer Gamble
When was the last time you took a moment to ground yourself when you found yourself in a challenging or triggering situation?
In today’s episode, we hear from Let Her Lead established leader graduate, Rachel Dellinger Stallings, and her mentor, Jennifer Gamble. In their conversation, they speak about the ups and downs of leadership journeys, disconnecting our personal worth from our achievements, and the power of being in the present moment and observing what is happening in not only our minds — but also our bodies.
This episode starts with a grounding practice that helped get Rachel focused and fully present for her episode recording — which started the conversation about how pausing and collecting ourselves mindfully can have a profound effect on our lives and how we show up for those around us.
As you're listening to Rachel and Jennifer's conversation followed by Rachel's legacy talk, we encourage you to take the opportunity to emerge yourself in being fully present wherever you are in that moment.
About Season 2 of the She Speaks Podcast:
Throughout Season 2 we will be featuring the graduates and mentors/coaches in our first cohort of the Let Her Lead program. Each woman you will hear from throughout this season embarked on a 12-week journey in late 2023 to gain new skills and insights to become the leader SHE wants to be.
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Thank You to:
Our sponsor partners: Schaad Companies & Knoxville Entrepreneur Center
Our producer & theme music composer: Travis Tench of Oak Hill Audio
Our brand designer: Maranda Vandergriff of Vagabondary
Our photographers: Javon Renee Portraits, Smoke Signal Photography, Ashley Gurley Photography, and Kara Hudgens Photography
Have any questions, comments, or want to connect more with the Let Her Speak community? Contact us at hello@letherspeakusa.org
You're listening to She Speaks, a Let Her Speak podcast that celebrates women's fearlessness, resiliency, and readiness to change the world. [Music] Welcome back to our latest episode of the She Speaks series.
If you are just joining us, my name is Katherine Port. I'm the founder of the Let Her Speak organization. And this episode, I just wanted to give you all a little bit of some background on it.
You will be hearing from Rachel Dellinger -Stallings and Jennifer Gamble. Rachel is a graduate of our Let Her Lead program and she has been on quite the journey in her leadership.
The Let Her Speak Foundation. Lead program, if you're not familiar, is a way for us to support women who are aspiring leaders and those who are established leaders through a 12 -week program.
And we match them with a coach or a mentor to help to support them throughout this journey since there's a lot of tearing back our different layers,
different personal beliefs that aren't helping us anymore and really dive in. into what it means for each individual woman to show up as the leader she wants to be. So the episode that you're going to be hearing and the conversation between Rachel and Jennifer is very much around those topics of the things that Rachel has been working through in her leadership journey.
And in particular, a lot of themes around mindfulness and practicing being being present and what it can do to us when we start tying our own personal worth and value strictly to the productivity that we put out or the things that we create or produce rather than understanding that our own personal worth is just inherent in us being ourselves,
which is something that Rachel worked on throughout the program and continues to work on. And it's something that will actually be a part of the topic that you'll hear at the end of this episode,
where she'll actually share with you all a legacy talk that she created, which is a assignment that we gave every woman who graduated from the Let Her Lead program.
So once the interview is done, make sure to keep listening because it is an absolute. amazing talk that really helps bring together not only the leadership journey that Rachel has been on,
but the legacy that she wants to leave behind and the process that she's gone through in order to come out the other end and come out stronger as a leader and to show up fully as herself.
So, without further ado, let's all be listening. as we tune into Rachel and Jennifer's discussion about mindfulness,
presence, and our own self -worth. and inhale dignity and strength and support.
And when you're ready, we can rejoin the conversation. - That was lovely. - Yeah? - I mean, that was lovely. - Yeah. (laughing) Yeah,
what are you noticing about yourself now? My breathing is more even and more calm when I take a few minutes to look at my breath,
focus on the breath and be more still. I find myself chaotic is the word I would use when you have a lot of thoughts colliding so anytime you can pause that I've Have found great benefit in that.
Yeah What's interesting I always find this that taking a moment to pause sort of been a bit of a theme that we've talked about over the last actually four or five months.
So no better time than now to take that pause. So it's been quite a journey for the last few months for you.
Yeah. yeah. - I've really enjoyed taking the time to go through this course and this curriculum with the Let Her Lead program.
And while I like thinking of myself as a contributor and a leader, it's also kind of tough to look into the mirror. It's when one tries to do whatever one endeavors to do,
you also kind of are like, I'm looking at my own for the future. I'm looking at my own bad habits, and that could be being true to myself in the morning when I wanna do my affirmations and set an intention for the day,
and then it goes wonky, or it could be as simple as how I show up in the workplace. And so that's one thing I think I've learned is I choose how I show up. Whether we know it or not consciously, like I'm choosing how I'm coming into work that day,
or going into a meeting, or going into an interaction with someone, and... I am a kind of the type of person who loves those self -improvement books. What habits can I hack to make my day 1 % better or my relationship exchanges 1 % better and I love implementing those hacks and seeing if I can notice.
I'll give you an example. One thing I took from that James Clear Atomic Habits book was like I think the example he gives is if you want to go running put your your shoes by the door and sleep in your running clothes just create processes that just make it as smooth a transition as possible so the night before when I have a work day or whatever I have to do the next day I pack my lunch I pick out my outfit and
I get everything I need like to go out the door and I like set it by the door and that helps my mornings go better. hmm yeah what's what's important to you about being ready?
Oh hidden with the hard questions early on. I don't know that I've always identified like I have to put on certain clothes or certain makeup to have this armor but I do feel like I need to ready myself to like go into the world.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah sort of putting on your armor ready to enter into the unknown I don't have a literal like something I put on that makes me feel like I have armor, but it's metaphorical I would say it's definitely there.
Yeah, something about being prepared for what's to come Well, I do like be prepared. That's good advice.
I can I can understand that. Yeah, I I also like to be prepared. I think I think I get excited thinking about the future and what's to come and what might happen.
And with that, certainly I always feel like I have that backpack prepared. Maybe that's the solo traveler in my earlier days that I'm ready for anything mentality.
But when you're always having to feel like you're prepared, it kind of takes some of the magic out of the spontaneity of it. the day. How do you find spontaneity and creativity and find that balance of having to be prepared?
>> We were also talking to someone who doesn't have a filter and lets things fly out of our mouth without much thought, so there is value in being prepared, but it's easy to catch me and I'll tell you exactly what I think right away.
>> Yeah. >> But I'm curious as to what you think. what you think if you could unpack this, like the idea of how you show up, sometimes we don't have a choice, like whether it's, you know, how we look or where we live,
like sometimes we do have a choice, like our attitude. What do you see in the people that you coach or your own practice, like how do you figure out how you show up are currently doing that and if you did want to change it.
it, what is the advice to figure out? Because you've really helped me. How do you check in with yourself? Because no one else is going to fix that for you. If you find a flaw or something you want to fix, you're the one that's going to have to do the work.
But what does that mean to you? Yeah. You know, one of the things that we've talked a lot about is being in the present moment. And as we were getting started, we did a little grounding to help us even be in this conversation.
in the present moment. And part of increasing self -awareness, which is a lot of what coaching does, is being in the present moment and being able to observe.
Observe your own behavior, your own reactions. Even right now, you know, being able to notice, you know, is your heart beating fast? Is your breath fast or slow? Just getting good at observing yourself in the present moment.
how things are showing up inside yourself first so that then when I'm in that situation, right, maybe I'm triggered by a difficult conversation or I'm not sure why I'm getting upset about something.
I can take a moment and have a pause in what's great. I learned this in my coach training, so I'll credit presence -based coaching for this. and that is that the power's in the pause in the present moment.
That's really where power is. It's not in the future, and I'm a very futuristic, future -oriented thinker, and I love to dream about the future and actually planning a trip.
It's super exciting because it's in the planning, and I'm thinking about it, I'm almost there, but that's not where the power really is. It's in the present moment. The same thing with folks.
folks who are really struggling with things that are happening in the past. And therapists are really great at helping unpack some of those things. But the power's not in the past. It's really what am I doing in this very moment?
Not in 10 minutes from now, but in this very moment, how am I showing up today? And so being able to pause and observe myself and take note,
there's a problem with that. it's around somatics which means you know you're in practice with your body and understanding your body and so being able to recognize that scrunch feeling in your stomach or that my face is getting red or that now my hands are cold and clammy right and just being able to be aware of your body first and then know what's happening in your mind we're socialized out of our body we think with
our head all the time I know something, but do I feel that, right, being able to connect to my body? So when you ask, like, how does somebody do that, it's getting into the present moment for me,
I would say, and being able to observe what's really going on, just take note and not judge if I'm feeling some way to just get curious and say, "Hmm, isn't that interesting that that's happening?
Hmm, what more could I learn from that?" Well said and easier said than done. 100 % easier said than done. That's why it's called a practice, right? When you have,
whether you have a yoga practice or even a coaching practice, it's something that you do over and over to get better. And so I think that's about having grace with ourself and being able to say,
"You know what? I didn't get that right this time. I'm going to try again and I'm going to, you know, get curious and have some fun and see how that plays out. And there are places in our life that we can do that,
typically lower stakes. Maybe we don't wanna pick that important conversation with our boss to try that out observation the first time. But as we practice with sort of lower stakes, it can get easier to get clear on,
what's really going on here? How can I be clear? And I think that's with coaching too, you gain clarity when you spend time. There aren't many times. that someone gives you full focus.
And I think that's what happens in a coaching session is the focus is all on you as the client and it's space to be seen, heard and valued. And I think that's really the magic.
You bring all the curriculum and what's going on as the client, but for me, my job is really to hold space and to support the client. I love that reminder of the power of the pause and that it's a practice because I came into the Let Her Lead experience thinking,
"I am going to check this off. I am going to be awesome. Everything they're going to throw my way. I'm going to check, check, check, and it's going to be done out the door. No more work for me." And boy, has that been just continually exciting to learn.
Like, for example, the power of the pause gives me... reminds me of one of my a -ha moments from this course, which was whether I'm a member of a team or in a leadership role either way,
community, work, whatever, am I being transactional or am I being relational? And we, I think all can be guilty of just really getting into the grind and getting so caught up with our to -do list in my case.
And then maybe there's somebody who you interact with. with and it's just really transactional, just hurry and just let's just get this transaction over with and I'm thinking of like a work scenario. But if it's relational and if I'm pausing with maybe it's my own body and my behavior and feelings but maybe it's the other person that if I'm too busy and I'm too bogged down in the task and I'm being task oriented
instead of relation oriented, what magic that has unlocked. I really hope. loved how those two ideas have married, so like the power of the pause and this idea of transactional versus relational because that's where the magic is.
It's in the relationships, it's in the other people, and I kind of realized it's never about the work. The work will get done, but when you, what you've, the example you've drawn in a coaching scenario,
if I show up as a leader and I'm making space, that's safe. that's about the feelings and the presence of the person that I'm interacting with, we're gonna get eons further than if I'm just not making eye contact checking off a list,
you know. Yeah, what do you find easy about that? What's been easy about focusing on the relational? So I love people. I have always been a people -oriented person.
I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. and I knew it was gonna be wrong people. Love what, finding out what makes other people tick, and I'm one of those people that, and there's a lot of us out there. We're very energetic and optimistic and at a networking event.
When I meet someone, I wanna know everything about you in the first 30 seconds. And it's exciting, but then it can also come off as disingenuine, but I really, I'm just so excited by this new energy of this new person.
So. so it's easy for me to be relational when it's getting to know what makes someone else tick,
no. In a work meeting where I have my own agenda or have my own task load to get through, that's harder. Yeah, it sort of reminds me of, I used to describe it as a mullet style,
business in the front, party in the back, but you're going to have to be like halfway in between where you've got like the business stuff going on and you still want to bring like the fun party piece, but it's sort of the in -between kind of half mullet experience.
- Yeah, yeah. And I only know that because I think early in my career, I was very focused on the business stuff and really wanting to be able to check that off the list and be able to get things done.
And recognizing that not everybody comes to a one - -on -one or a meeting ready to jump down to business. So it's like, okay, do I need to like shift the mullet and do some of the party and then we get to the business?
Or how does that really work? Yeah, it's one of the reasons I really appreciate working with you, Rachel, is that, you know, I think in so many ways there are common ways that we see the world and then also different ways that we show up.
And so it's been a lot of fun to talk through whether it's, about that checklist or what does perfectionism or being a recovering perfectionist look like or what does it mean to shift from being focused on the doing to the being,
right? Which is a little bit of what we're talking about now. So what for you has been really important to take forward from our coaching conversations?
conversations? - I think I have been, I feel powerful and empowered to choose how I want to be.
I think in different times of my life, and a lot of us probably feel like, well, I'm a victim to the situation and there's nothing I can do. And the circumstances that I'm in,
are just ho -hum. That's the way it is. But, oh man, what a potentially empowering situation for even if it's ho -hum to come in with, "No, I get to choose how I show up,
and I can make, maybe not better, but I can make this different. And if the only thing I can change about something is my attitude, what a hundred percent difference I can make." So, I feel that you have given me the permission to be empowered to.
to walk into a situation that it's okay. I can handle it no matter what because we all can choose how we look at things.
- When you're showing up at your best, who is Rachel? - Ooh, how much time do you have? (laughing) You know you I will answer that by quoting something you said back to you during one of our coaching sessions which is you can Go fast alone,
but far together and so this When I think of like my superpowers and my superstar self the first image that comes to mind is me like You know the light is reflecting my shiny armor And I've got my power pose with my hands my hips in that movie panorama view with Powerful music standing on a mountaintop at that example.
I'm alone the real how you really go far whether it's at work In community and a volunteer project is together. So really I'm I have my unique gifts and talents I bring and so does everyone else.
So really that that visual instead of me on a mountaintop is me in a field when we're all equal, but we're all different. - Yeah, yeah, I love that. It's how I like to see people,
which is everybody has their uniqueness and their own talents and strengths that they can bring to the table. And each person has amazing things that they can do. And so it's great that for you walking away from this program and experience.
that you're feeling really empowered and that you can bring the best parts of yourself forward. So Jennifer, it's funny that you say like,
"Oh, being able to bring the best parts of myself forward," because I actually pride myself on being somebody who's like a self -starter and takes initiative. And if there's something that I can see needs to be done, I just do it.
So I've always really prided myself on. "Ambitious" is not the right word, but very strong and taking initiative,
anticipating what's gonna come next in whatever scenario in that I'm in. And I get this amazing feeling of crossing off the things on the to -do list.
I mean, I do identify with being perfectionist at times, but "productive" is the word that most I feel is like a strength. And it's like a good thing.
And then I've also fallen victim to which I push myself to be so, to produce and be so productive that it then hurts me. Because then I've fallen away from the practice of being mindful in the present moment,
like what does my body need? What does my spirit need? I'm not checking in with those things because I'm putting so much pressure on myself to be productive, but I find it ironic that that's something. that I would like say in a job interview that I am a self -starter and I take initiative.
So while I'm proud of that, there's a balance and it's a kind of a tricky one. Isn't it so interesting that, you know, being productive and being a producer and sort of that performative piece is so valued,
especially in, you know, U .S. American culture. It's, you know, people ask you, "Oh, what do you do?" And that's the first thing people want to know is, like, well, how do you you produce in the world?
And this idea that there's value in just existing and being, and that there's something really important that you bring to the world just by being present. Somebody's spirit.
And I can think about being at a meeting or, you know, being at a boardroom and knowing that somebody can be present and not actually speak and still have influence. And so it's so interesting that oftentimes and frankly with a lot of leaders that I work with,
that really who they are is tied up in what they do and not who they wanna be. And somewhere along the line from childhood to now that got lost,
right? If you ask a kindergartner like, who are you? Oh, they're a superhero, they're an artist, they're doing all these things, but they're also there as a best friend and they'll say I'm a sister.
sister. I'm a brother, a best friend of whoever." And so this idea of being gets separated from the doing, and then all of a sudden we find ourselves in leadership roles, and we've been supported and given accolades and promoted based on our doing.
And we've talked quite a bit about this infinity loop of doing and being, right? Like, there's a happy medium of where you are when you do too much of the doing,
the opposite to sort of heal or find integration is to go back to the being, and the same thing with the being, right? Like, there's overdoing either side of it, and it's sort of,
as we're talking, I've got my finger sort of making this infinity loop going back and forth of doing and being. It's not that either one is wrong, it really is being aware of where are you in that cycle of in the doing.
versus how much do I need to be in the being? Where have you found for yourself that sort of natural flow? Well, I was nodding emphatically as you were talking about how it's not just a personal thing,
but a cultural thing, and there is value. And I do think that by giving praise and recognition and accolades to the achievements is part of it.
It feels good. It's important to recognize this or that, but I think one thing that has helped me in general in the being, find myself in that how do I want to be and who do I want to be is in yoga practice and just going on these mindful walks that that's kind of my way of like making sure that I spend a few minutes a day like not in my own thoughts but being mindful and present.
present. And when I'm actually listening to my body and maybe like, I'm creaky, so I need to stretch, or, you know, I really haven't drank water in a couple of, in a couple of hours,
those, that, it just changes my whole, um, attitude being persona, I don't know. Sorry, I messed that up. Suddenly keenly aware of being recorded.
That's where, that's where the present moment has escaped us, and we're already thinking about other things, yeah. Well, and because even during our times, during coaching sessions,
I would be so impressed with you being able to help keep me grounded in the moment. Because you would say, how did you notice how much quickly you were talking, or your energy has changed?
And I imagined that. that would be something that you spend a lot of time practicing to help people gain that self -awareness. I would say coaching is different than just having a conversation,
which is why this is so interesting because we're usually doing coaching and not a conversation, but it is about having an awareness of where my presence is, am I paying attention to you,
even in our conversation. here and having some grace when I recognize as it does for everyone that my mind wanders and it's like, "Okay, I'm coming back to this conversation. I don't need to respond.
I'm just listening. I'm engaging." So, yeah, it is a practice, something that has to get better over time, but it is about paying attention even in that very moment to recognize,
"Oh, this needs to come back." In my coach training, I specifically picked presence -based. because I am so futuristic. I knew that if I wanted to be a good coach that being in the present moment was part of it.
And so I specifically picked that training. And one of the things that they have you do is ring a bell in your hand every time you are not paying attention. And in a room full of people,
all being trained to be coaches, you hear these bells going off nonstop because everyone recognizes that, "Oh, my mind has gone off." wondered, let me ring that bell again. Oh, let me ring that bell again. And so really it's like a room full of bells.
And you're like, you know what, I'm not alone. I'm not the only person that might have trouble. So when people is like, hey, I want to start a mindful practice. I'm going to start meditation or yoga. And I'm going to try like five minutes.
I'm like, maybe just try five seconds. I mean, you don't have to try five minutes. Just maybe try five seconds. And then you can, you know, add on that over time. But it's universal. that paying attention to the other person and paying attention to yourself can be really difficult if it's not a true practice,
something that you're doing over and over and that you try to get better at, or at least be aware of where you are. You don't even have to try to get better. You can just have an awareness of, well, my time limit is five seconds or it's two minutes or whatever it is,
but that's something that I've noticed even in our coaching sessions, having space and pace and time has gotten longer as we've coached together.
In the beginning, it was like try to get it all done in the first session. And then as we've coached, there's been more spaciousness and time and space in our conversations. I don't know,
what have you noticed? I would definitely agree about that. having more space and you kind of given me permission to well sit with that.
How does that feel? Well, what does that mean to you? If you're feeling frantic or if you're feeling sluggish, like what does that mean? How do you want to show up today? What do you want to carry with you that you are practicing that you like and you feels good and what are you practicing that doesn't feel good?
So I'm curious in all the leaders and different scenarios of coaching. if there was one, whether it's about awareness or not, if there was just one thing you wish people would adopt either more quickly or more effectively or knew about themselves,
what is like a common theme that you've noticed in coaching? I think one of the things would be just to be curious. Yes, I think often times when I work with leaders...
leaders, there's a search for fact and truth and performance and that there's real value in just getting curious, asking questions,
noticing my own responses. For some leaders, observation is very easy and so they can easily observe and then in the curiosity it's the judgment.
They're judging themselves for what's going on. versus just being curious and being open and light. And being okay with, let's just get curious and see what that's all about. And with suspend the judgment,
suspend any feelings we have about it, just take note. And then at the end, when we've collected data, I do like data, when we've collected the data, we can say, okay, what does this mean?
What should we do then? But for a while, just to be curious and observe. And I think, again, when we've collected data, we talk about especially US -centric culture, people would say,
well, there's no time to be curious. We would have to like spend all this time to observe and to watch. When in reality, when you slow down, you actually accelerate.
It seems like that's not how that should happen. But when we slow down to observe, to pay attention, to be mindful, we actually accelerate what what we're trying to do in a different way.
It's not so much that, like I accelerate a car, like I slow down and then go fast, but it's really that I accelerate how things are going to evolve and what's going to be in a more multi -dimensional way than just I'm going to slow down and accelerate.
But I do think that's what the power of the pause or the power of observation, all of that goes back to slowly. slowing down, which seems very anti -leadership and anti -the way you might wanna go.
- But slow is smooth and smooth is fast. So even though, like you're saying, you have to take time and figure out whether it's building a team or assessing a project.
And then once you have spent the time to put the right people in the right place or cultivate that team. you can take off. Yeah. Well, you know,
I'm noticing we're kind of coming to a close of our conversation and, you know, you asked me what's one thing for me, but, you know, what about for you? What are you hoping that you can impart to other folks on the leadership journey?
I think you can't ever go wrong with a golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. And we could... unpack that, but I'll add to that, which is treat others how they want to be treated and just being sensitive to different people and places and where they are.
And I think that this practice of empathy and empathetic leadership has really helped that transactional versus relational at work and in personal life.
So if there's one thing I would want to impart, it would be be is this interaction personal, professional or otherwise, is the relationship more important or is the task more important?
Because if the task is more important, sometimes there's emergencies and you've got to go and that's a task -oriented situation, but most of the time we're in relational -oriented situations and my relationship with whoever I'm dealing with is most likely more important than the task at hand.
So I would just encourage everyone to consider. what, for example, is it more important to be right or is it more important to maintain this relationship? That's what I'm going to say is a practice.
Yeah, thanks for sharing that. That sounds a whole lot like really recognizing what strength is best to show up in that moment, whether it's, if it's the crisis, maybe it is the task,
we're going to put out the fire. If it's the team and we want to maintain the relationship, then maybe the strength I'm bringing forward in that case is really the relational. So recognizing that it's not like an either /or,
maybe it's a yes and. These are both important strengths and finding when it's best to show up with those. It's great. Yeah. Well, I've really enjoyed having a chance to just have a conversation for a change.
So I really appreciate all that you've done to dedicate to your own personal development and your personal. growth, and I've really enjoyed being on the journey with you. Well, thank you.
It's such a pleasure to talk as we have before, but also talk today. Thanks so much. Thank you. Now that you've had an opportunity to learn about Rachel's leadership journey,
let's listen in as she shares the legacy she wants to leave behind. I'd like to start with a grounding exercise in which I invite you to take with me a couple of deep breaths and as you inhale and exhale.
Whether eyes are open or closed, I invite you to just notice how you're feeling as you breathe. breathe, is your heart rate beating rapidly?
Are your feet or your body grounding you to the earth? I invite you to join me in the present moment and as I talk about the idea of mindfulness.
Now I know many of us are familiar with this practice or this idea but today I'm going to tell you what it means to me. So I've always been a busy person who's involved in all kinds of things.
I really thrive on the energy of others. I'm extroverted and I love finding out what makes other people tick. I've been involved with a number of civic organizations and enjoyed volunteering in the community side by side with others who are willing to roll up their sleeves and make the world a better place.
place. Even through my professional experiences, I've been involved with organizations that uplift, celebrate, and get plugged into our Knoxville.
But over the years, I've found myself falling into a trap, which I know many of us do, and that is to run myself down to the ground until my battery is out. I found my schedule so busy and overbooked and sometimes it takes a dramatic event to stop us in our tracks and reevaluate our priorities.
And for me, that happened when I was 28. I received a diagnosis of Hodgkin lymphoma and my whole world changed. Dating and social life were put on hold.
I did continue to work and fulfill some volunteer obligations, but life looked different for a while. while. I went from networking and happy hour to doctor's offices and chemotherapy.
I received 10 months of treatment and it took a long time for me to feel like myself again. Over time, I realized not only had my priorities shifted,
but I could only do one thing at a time. And at that point, it was was focused on my health. Before I got sick I was gone every night of the week filling my schedule with extracurricular activities and trying to multitask like even answering emails on my smartphone while I was driving.
I would find that when I walked the dog in the evenings around my neighborhood I would be have my little face buried in my little phone texting or emailing or what have you.
you. It was hard, but that time helped me realize I had to slow down and I could really only do one thing at a time. So I had to give myself that permission that it's okay to slow down and do just that.
To notice the sunset in the sky. sky, you know the idea of this practicing mindfulness It's different for everyone and I still get wiggly when I try to meditate or anything like that But I found that leaving my phone behind and going on these walks outside Was such a gift for my mental health and my physical health.
I Am struck by what a gift my life is where where we live having the fresh air to breathe, and I would notice these beautiful sunsets with these colors painted across the sky that before I didn't notice because I had my head buried in my phone.
Just as I've given myself permission to slow down, do one thing at a time, what's something you need to give yourself permission to do, I wonder.
My mindfulness practice is over. took me to some real and raw places, and I found myself mixing up my worth and my value as a person with what I could do or achieve.
And my self -worth and my value was coming from accolades and external recognition what other people thought of me. And while that's still important to me, I'm working on finding out why,
the more time I spend trying to... be in the present moment, the more this idea comes back to me of the doing versus being. So even though I was focused on what I want to do,
like the to -do list or the achievements, I've realized I'd rather focus on what I want to be. For example, I want to be a person who's compassionate to herself and others and extends grace and creates a safe place.
place. I want to be proud of my work but not define my worth in what I do. So, if no one has told you today, you are enough. You're already worthy.
You're already good enough. It has nothing to do with your deeds or your to -do list or your achievements. You make a difference by being who you are just as you are. By just being you,
you are worthy and you are enough. I'm still learning that every day. And another thing that's come forward with my mindfulness practice is this idea of you don't have to stand in the spotlight to shine,
which is what I was trying to do. I was trying to be shiny and achieve. But I want to be the kind of friend and the kind of leader who's encouraged and reflects the light in others back to them.
I want to blot out the darkness and pave the way. So whether or not you have a mindfulness practice, I invite you to take a breath at any point during your day and know that just any time you're listening or paying attention to your breath,
you're being mindful. I guess the the idea that I most wanted to share today is that I have to continue to give myself permission to slow down, do one thing at a time,
and not to try so hard to be perfect. That way, however I'm able to shine, I know I can reflect the best in others. So I'm still on this journey of giving myself these permissions.
but that's how I shine brightest when I'm reflecting the light of others. So I challenge you, what permissions do you need to grant yourself today?
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